Random As Rhyme

Hip hop, I love it, but the people who put the music out are, more often than not, completely crazy and get caught acting a fool quite often. As 2008 comes to a close, I figured I should put up my list of hip hop fuckery foolery out before Skillz does another rap up .

(My list’s are now equipped with numbers, since ‘unnumbered lists = sorta fail’)

1. Remy Ma + Jail + Papoose = Jail Break Foolery.

This year Remy quickly followed in the footsteps of Little Kim, and Foxy Brown by getting sent up for 8 long years. Shortly after her sentencing she announced her relationship with fellow rapper Papoose. Then the whole mess ran afoul when Papoose tried to bust her out of jail and got caught. To make this all a little better (or worse) this was on their in jail wedding day. Cute.

Papoose tries to break Remy out, wedding off – Nahright

2. DMX + Arrest + Arrest + Crack + Arrest = More Arrest Foolery

It’s hard out here for a DMX fan these days, I am almost embarrassed to say I ever liked his music. I think he got arrested about 5 times this year. I hope he pulls himself together because until then he just keeps slippin, fallin, he can’t get up.

DMX Arrested list – Bossip

3. 50 Cent + Reality TV + Donald Trumps Prediction = Reality show fail foolery
Donald Trump had this to say about 50’s reality show:

“it will fail because he’s not Trump, but he’s actually a nice guy.”

50 said Donald is full of bad hair, I mean hot air, and went on with it anyway. But no one cared and the show got canceled. I watched 1.5 episodes and it was terrible.

50s show gets axxe - Bossip

4. Diddy + Blog + Orange Juice + Fruitloops = Diddy Crazy Foolery

Orange Juice in cereal? Custom Jeeps with under glow? I don’t even know, Puff has lost mind, but it’s funny to watch him just stare at the camera.

5. Lil Wayne + Tons of Drugs + Tour Bus+ DEA = Border Foolery.

Lil Wayne got snatched up by the DEA for having a mess of drugs on his tour bus. 105 grams of marijuana, 29 grams of cocaine, and 41 grams of ecstasy to be exact, oh and a pistol just for street cred. No doubt some lean was also present but they didn’t mention it since that’s always on him.

Rappers should just get their weed carriers a vehicle of their own and just have them follow behind the tour bus. It could be a Bosokou car or something.

Lil Wayne Arrested for Drug Possession - MTV News

6. T.I. + BET Awards Show + Snitching = Gun Charge Foolery

T.I. got arrested this year for trying to purchase nine or so Machine guns. I somewhat understand the need for rappers feeling that they have to carry weapons to protect themselves, but nine machine guns is a bit much.

Federal agents show guns in T.I. case – Ajc.com

7. Souja Boy + Ice T + Beef = 32 Year Age Difference Foolery

I am not sure who took the first blow (although I think it was Ice T) but either way an 18 year old and a 50 year old should not be fighting. Imagine walking up to a 50 year old and chirping at them? Or better yet one chirping at you?

I’m afraid to skate too fast past the old guys in hockey for fear they will crumble to dust, I shudder to think at making them mad.

Soulja Boy vs Ice T – BET

8. Yung Berg + Transformers + Detroit = Chain Snatch Foolery

Yung Berg has had a transformers chain, which would have looked better on me, but he went to Detroit with it and it got ganked. From what I can tell Berg is about my size so what he was doing in a club in the D with that chain around his neck talking business is anyone’s guess, he got roughed up pretty good but is lucky he didn’t end up worse. Now Trick Trick and his entourage are taking the chain on tour. Hilarious.

Yung Berg, Beat Down, Chain Snatched – Hip Hop News

9. Suge Knight + Dudes Fist + Floor = Bloody Knock Out Foolery

I can’t believe this happened, the very large, very intimidating (well before this) Suge Knight got popped by a smaller man. The dude in the death row chair just got up and did the Ickey Shuffle.

Suge Knight Knockout Gallery – TMZ

10. Kanye + Vodocoder + Scruffy + Funny Clothes = 808s & Heartbreak Foolery

Some or lots of you won’t agree but meh, my blog, my opinion. Kanye cool for doing something new and creative, but I am not feeling it, and I have tried on several occasions. Watch your sodium up on that podium there fella.

808s and Hearbreak Reveiw - Spin

Update: Skillz did his wrap up and seems like I forgot a lot of wild stuff that happened. So for a further recap take a listen

Check out Can’t Slow Down for the link.

Being a car enthusiast I consider myself somewhat knowledgeable in all genres of the automotive hobby. There are obviously a few I don’t  like, most art cars (but not this one), ricers, and extreme ‘hood rides‘ but one trend that I honestly could never wrap my head around were Bosokuo or Boso cars. So using the old google I decided to pull up some information and try and figure out what the hell is going on.

A Boso car, in its most basic form is illustrated below:

Note the bastardization of things I normally like; low stance, wide wheels, clean paint job, and older body styles. It seems the general goal of this style is to take things I like, lowered stance, wide wheels, older body styles, and spiderman.
Most sane people  would wonder why the hell this car looks as so, and the answer is simple, apparently.

Bōsōzoku’s literal translation is violent running tribe, and these dudes started out riding around in un-muffled motorcycles causing a ruckus, in around the 70s they switched from cars to bikes.

Like everything else whats old is new again. So young the new generation has flocked  to these cars for no reason at all other than to draw obscene amounts of attention and bother everyone else.

While I find most of these cars all together terrible, the exhaust  tips bother me the most. What’s to stop a passer by from just ripping them off or at the very least just bending them. Better yet what happens when you need to get into your garage. Or when someone rear ends you and 8 feet of hot metal comes raining down on your roof. Speaking of rain, would these not just catch rain?

The guy below gets a gold star, but his exhaust still looks stupid.

and they sound even worse!

I don’t know how these cars are street legal or how the dude below even drives his monstrosity

I really hope this doesn’t make its way to Canada or my head might just explode. I wish clean, subtle cars would take off.

Sigh.

Don’t get me started on the vans:

I have been gone for a little, Christmas and being off work makes me move at a lethargic pace. But I will be back on my grind Monday.

However I saw this today and it’s pretty rad. I wish I had a body of work this impressive in any medium.

Enjoy

Being a kid once I receive  quite a lot of  awesome  gifts,  but I also  receive  a  bunch  of  super  disappointing ones. So to help all you parents out there I have compiled a  list of things you should never get your kids for  Christmas.

A Globe

Globes are a fair size, and therefore come in a big box.  When a Kid sees a big box under the tree on  Christmas day their eyes light up. When they open the box to find an instrument used for learning their soul turns black.

Bootleg  toys

Nothing rockets your kid to the bottom of the cool totem pole faster than showing up with bootleg merchandise, kids know real from fake. Just like how everyone knows your ‘JV’ bag was purchased in China  Town.

Sweaters

Kids want toys dammit! Get them sweaters on your time, Christmas is their time. If you are going to get them a sweater at least have the decency to make it awesome.

Bicycle (if you live somewhere it snows)

I don’t know about you, but to  me getting your child something they can’t really use for 4 months is kind of a dick  move. Bikes make awesome presents, but not if its snowing outside.

Science  Set

Save the  money and  just  wrap  up  their  homework instead.

Socks

Does anything really have to  be  said about giving  socks to  a child for Christmas? Just throw them in the drawer  when  they are not looking  and go to  the dollar store  and  grab a handful of  sweet sweet toys. Just make sure your kid  does not  lick  them.

With Christmas  it is  really the thought that counts,  so  for your kids sake take a second to  think back  to your childhood,  and the gifts you  did not  enjoy and don’t make the  same  mistake. Nothing sucks more than  a  box of disappointment.

Or at least make sure for each box of disappointment there is at least 5 boxes of awesome under that tree.

Wal-Mart is open 24s until the big day, hurry there’s  still time!

The lady in the video is suing her co worker for pulling her out of a car which the co worker thought  was going to catch fire. Apparently while  being pulled out her  back was broken  and  she is now a paraplegic. The video does not say whether or not the vehicle would have caught fire before emergency help arrived, which would have been interesting to know.

The way the law in America is currently set up means that good Samaritans can  and  are liable for any damage they cause while  ‘helping’ the person  in  trouble.

The video  kind of paints the  co worker in a  bad light, saying they should  not have treated  the victim  like a rag doll.  However, what if the co worker didn’t pull her  out and the car blew up and she died. Would the  co  worker then  be responsible for her  death,  is it better to leave  someone  in somewhat  foreseeable danger to protect them from what  most people can’t see?

I wonder if  storys like this will lead  to  less  people helping  out fellow human beings when  they are in trouble for fear  of being sued.

I have never been first on  the scene in  an accident but I can’t imagine  asking someone to sign a waiver saying they won’t  sue me before I pull them  out of a wrecked vehicle. I wonder how Canadian law  is  set  up, and if its worth  looking into.

I think if I were to ever come across some sort of serious accident I wouldn’t move  the  person if at all  possible, but  if  they were in the path of further immediate danger I don’t  think I  could just leave them there to get  destroyed,  I also don’t  believe that is human nature.

However  if this person can  then  sue me  for everything I am worth I might  have to put human nature in for my own  financial self preservation.

This could lead to  a very self serving society if more situations  like this occur.

Macniel was running a cool contest where you design some shirts and if you win you get a box of your design plus one of their new frames. I am on a Macniel Whitton II now so a Whitton III would be ace. So I did up a few.

I sent these:

I didn’t send these:

I have never been the type of person who let things stand in the way of something I want to do. Logic, skill level, and personal safety don’t phase me and have never stopped me from at least attempting to do something I maybe ’shouldn’t’. I also don’t think my skin color makes me better or worse than anyone else. These two personality traits have let very few things stand in my way.

When I started riding BMX I had already been playing hockey and skateboarding for a few years, so I was already used to the idea of doing a sport that ‘wasn’t for brothers’. One thing I noticed was that all the people who told me that BMX wasn’t for me were people who actually didn’t  participate in the sport. Everyone who did was too busy having fun to notice i was a different color.  At least that is how it felt, I was defiantly one of the ‘token’ black guys in the scene for awhile, but the Southern Ontario scene is great, and I never once felt out of place.

This did not mean that I never got stoked when i saw another black rider, in person, or in the media. Each rider listed below I have a vivid memory of the first time I saw or met them.

Jason Richardson

Jason was the first  black rider I ever saw, he had a full page ad for Mosh bikes in an old BMX Today (racing magazine that came with your NBL membership). I remember being so excited that I showed my mom as a way to show her I wasn’t that different. As far as I can tell he is still ripping up double A pro today.

Andre Ellison

Andre blew up young. He was the youngest person to ride in Gravity games at age 14 I believe. He was also the youngest rider to ever appear on the cover of the now dead Snap magazine. He was exceptionally good at a really young age. He put a lot of tricks within my reach mentally, even though they are still out of my reach physically.

Shaun Butler

Shaun came up before coming up was a wildly used term,  then  vanished. Lately he has resurfaced and has gone back to riding  for the sheer fun of it.

Ronnie Chalk

Like Shaun Butler, Ronnie came out shredded (I have 2 posters of him on my wall right now) then vanished, but he is now DC’s BMX team manager.

Ruel ‘Wormz’ Smith

Photo Credit:  Keith Romanowski

At the time I was first introduced to wormz I didn’t even know NY had a big street scene, or that someone could do a table so nice off a street obstacle (couldn’t find that photo). Wormz also used to have dreads which were pretty much the length mine are now. The NY street  scene is amazing these days and has a countless about of black riders who murk everything.

Keven  Salmon

First time I went to a skate park Keven was there, destroying. I had never seen anyone go so high or do the tricks he was doing in person before. Since then I have seen him in Dig and Ride, and then no where else. These days he is kind of camera shy, and it might have something to do with what he’s hiding under his hat, but he is still an inspiration and really positive to  talk to.

I was able to scrounge up a few more images of Keven using the Internet archive that are a treat: one handed foot jam, one footed x up air, canadian nose pick, invert, hip invert, one handed table, wall footjam, big stair huck.

Jaumell Campbell

First time I saw this video my initial reaction was ‘holy crap clipping that rail hop would have killed a normal person’.  It didn’t and a few months later I was fortunate to meet Jaumell at the 10 pack am  qualifiers and he’s not just a rad rider but a real chill dude, who could bunnyhop over the moon.

Jordan Savas/Chijioke Okafo edit. from JordanSavas on Vimeo.

I first met Chijioke 4 or 5 years ago at an ASC dirt contest. He was the first black rider to enter one of the contests I helped put on and I was super stoked that he made the trip from Barrie to come ride. (Come to think of it I have no clue how he found out about the contest at all)

Being from Barrie I didn’t see him again until he grew up some, ditched the mountain bike, and became an absolute amazing Rider. I now ride with him on the regular and every session is full of great times and great tricks. I honestly can’t say enough good things about this guys riding or personality.

Having rode for 10 years now I am happy to say that BMX has turned into a big melting pot and people of  all ages,  races, and sexes ride, and thats what makes BMX one of the best sports in the world.

Here are  some more shredders: