Random As Rhyme

I have decided on another feature I am going to do in addition to ‘Wordless Wednesdays‘. On days that start with a ‘T’ I will write about things I always wanted as a child/teenage.I will write these on either Tuesday Thursday, or both, depending on mood. Anyone who’s childhood spanned the late 80s early 90s should find these a pleasant trip down memory lane.

Without further adieu here is this weeks Thing I always Wanted

The Talk Boy:

For those of you that might have forget, the TalkBoy was featured in Home Alone: 2, and while the first 2 Home Alone movies featured a gang or awesome tricks for young boys to try this is the one that was the most marketable.

This product was basically a glorified boring tape recorder used by goofy professors and what not. What Tiger did though was paint it silver, add an extend able mic, and the ability to play at half speed, full speed, or reverse.

This doesn’t really sound all that exciting really, but combine Hollywood Movie Magic, a clever marketing scheme, and the fact that kids are stupid and you have a sought after item.

Apparently the gimmick was that if you slow down a pre pubescent voice it sounded like that of a full grown adult to everyone around (provided everyone around was incredibly stupid). Awesome, now you can prank your sister and her bf like in the commercial.

Or like Kevin in the movie, steal your dads credit card and commit identity theft, and get a swank New York hotel room much to the displeasure of the snooty concierge.

Obviously now this all sound completely moronic but at nine years old this would have been my ticket to all sorts of mischief. Unfortunately my parents saw right through the marketing gimmick and straight to the potential jail time I could incur using stolen credit cards to order lots and lots of Ninja Turtles merchandise.

So this goes as the first of many things I always wanted.

Here are some videos of clever use of this device.

A week ago today I sat down and took my vows to start a long term relationship with my new blog. It’s safe to say that this relationship is still in it’s honey moon stage. My blog and I spontaneously get together for some textual lovin’ five to six days a week.

As much as I would love to keep this pace up forever the reality is at some point I am going to come up against verbal impotency. Lucky for me their are a few pills one can take to counter act this effect.

Or maybe, hopefully, sometime down the road some sugar-mamma or mama’s will entice me to hop in bed with her to re- kindle my spark.

But until then this is the list of things to write about my counselor gave me some fall back topics to work on to keep the  home fires burning.

-Myself (self interview)
-New Error (how to wear a new era)
-Trick Progression in bmx
-Bike Checks
-Dramatic telling of an old story
-Hip Hop Fuckery
-Life with Ankloglossia
-Barack Obama
-Excite Bike
-Explaining the car obsession

So look for these in the near future, and If you want to see more of anything specific holler in the comments. I am always looking for new ways to shake things up.

Or maybe I will just hire these kids, they can’t be up to anything.

Murray is such an inspiration, I can’t imagine how hard it must be for him right now but listening to him talk you would never know. I think it would be an honor to meet him. Everyone should watch this video, It’s hard to face the reality that this can happen to any of us.

Stay Safe, Stay Positive, Stay Strong.

About time I made a Transformers post. Good thing I didn’t name my blog this as I panned. This dude does some rad stuff for sure.

http://randomusprime.home.comcast.net/~randomusprime/

This is not what I planned on writing today, but what the hell.

I walk from Union station to King and Spadina and back everyday and everyday I see the same bums/homeless/street person/whatever the politically correct term is for people who want my change. 98% of the time they get nothing from me and that will probably continue but here are some tips if you do want money from me and live on the streets.

Don’t Be Fat
One dude I see sits on a milk crate in front of East Side Marios on Front St and he is pretty fat, I on the other hand am pretty skinny. I eat a lot and I don’t get fat, in theory this guy can barley afford to eat and yet his gut is often hanging out of his clothes. I suspect this dude goes in for the all you can eat salad and bread with his pasta at east side every day after he’s done making a killing off people on the street.

Don’t Disappear on rainy days
Rainy days all the beggars disappear. I can’t call in rain to my job, how come you get too? Sit under an over hang or buy an umbrella I am pretty sure they can be had for a dollar.

Don’t have one of those ‘why lie I need beer’ signs
I saw that shit for the first time on the Internet. Where did you see it the hobonet? Either way I am not giving you money to get drunk, and it was only funny the first time I saw it. This brings me to my next one.

Kick your habbit
I catch you slipping up and see you sneaking a swig of Crown Royal or puffin a cancer stick while asking for my money you are not getting shit. Dick.

Don’t let me catch you hiding your money
I see this a lot, they empty their cup so they look more desperate, ok, fine. You could at least show some discretion don’t just do it in front of me and give me a look like “what fill it back up bitch”.

Don’t wait outside a bank
You think I am going to give you a $20? Better go down the street with that bulllllshit.

Don’t have a pet
Cant stress this one enough. Your animal does not deserve life on the street, I will accept no excuses for this.

Every time I see a street person with a pet I assume one of two things; you stole it from home when you took off, or you stole it from someone else, either way sucker move.

Toronto is not Mexico, stray dogs are not abundant, if you have a pet and come up on hard times don’t be selfish let the pet have a better life and give it up for adoption.

Don’t hold the door for me
I got it thanks.

Do do something cool
Get a talent and put it to use. Art, juggling, flaming yo-yos, do something that amuses me and I will actually give you money (ie work for it). Actually the first bum street person that can legitimately make the transformers noise I will give 10 bucks.

Public Service Announcement: I am not a dick I just play one on the internet.

Seriously though, if I offended you because someone you know is on hard times and on the street I am sorry, go help them get off it. I donate to the united way and the salvation army so my karma is good enough to write things like this.

I hope… or my car will get broken into again. Time will tell.

The year was 2002, I was 17 and in grade 11 or 12, I was cursing the block in my BMW with two 10s in the trunk fighting to keep up with the volume I listened to my music at.

This was when single tracks were downloaded from Kazza and only Twenty or so tracks of questionable material could fit on a cd. Most of these Cd’s never got labeled anything more than than “Mix Cd”, however I found a case to one that I made and surprisingly I had penned out all the tracks, according to my chicken scratches this is was what I was listening to at the time:

Cam’ron feat Juelz Santana Oh Boy
Everyone probably remembers this track. Depending on your opinion the beat was either super annoying or really great. Since I had two versions of this song on this CD and I am still a fan of the production work of Just Blaze I would be the later of the two. I was never really a big Cam fan though, and I don’t care about his pool.

Nappy Roots – Aww Naw
I liked a few Nappy Roots songs honestly but never listened to an entire album. After giving this song a quick re listen its no doubt the main reason I liked this one is because it has tons of bass. This was my first system and I pretty much murdered those 10s. Quite a few songs on this cd got picked for bass no doubt.

Rob Jackson & Lady May Boom Boom Boom
Another song I liked cause of the bass, I had never heard of these two before this, and I am pretty sure I never listened to a song by them again, oh well. I can’t believe the say Lady May and Rob Jackson “Aristocrat’n.”

Big Tymers – I’m Still Fly
At this point I was still washing dishes at Montanas, but I was still Fly.

Busta Rhymes ft the Flip Mode Squad
Another heavy bass track. I still listened to this song in my last vehicle with a system cause I loved looking at cars in a blurry haze in the rear view mirror, those days are over though thanks to scummy thieves.

Ruff Ryders Ft JadaKiss and Bubba Sparxx
I didn’t even remember this song when I read it. Once the you tube started playing I had a very vague recollection but I can’t imagine why I would burn it on to a cd. Maybe just so I could say ‘Collipark Bubba Sparxx’.

Jermaine Dupri feat Too Short – Jazzy Hoes
Bass and Too Short canceled out the downsides of JD.
Too short baby don’t need to trick!

West Coast Bad Boys – Pop Lockin
Weeeeessst Coaaaast! C walkin, low lows, and Cali sunshine in the video. Snoop, WC, Master P, Silkk Da Shocker and E-40 are all on this track. Everyone except Silkk and P I would still listen to today. I still want a 64 Impala, and wish I could dance…

Lil Wayne – Fuck With Me Now
Weezy F Baby, don’t forget the F baby. Who would have figured that Wayne would be where he is now back then, or that I would still be listening to him today. When I downloaded this track I had never really heard of him, but it showed up in a search for Bass songs on a local car audio forum so I slapped it on here.

Ludacris – Saturday
“Ohh ohhh! I got a big weed stash, pocket fulla cash, just seen a big ol ass.”
I am pretty sure none of those things have happened to me at the same time ever.

Master P – Burbans and Lacs
I can’t keep writing off terrible songs because of tons of bass. So I have no excuse for this song.

Redman And Method Man – How High Part 2
Thankfully I don’t need to make an excuse for this song, its still live, apparently a how high part 3 movie is in the works. The videos worth a watch if you have not seen it in awhile, Red and Meth together are funny and apparently Method had corn rows.

Royce 5′9 – Boom
Holy shit, two good songs in a row! If you don’t already know Royce has been hot for over a minute now, and is down with DJ premiere, so this song is a banger. I didn’t know there was a video, Royce needs an excuse for that hat.

Mr Cheeks. – Lights Camera Action
This song was pretty catchy at the time, but I can’t stand it now and it ruined my streak of good songs. It’s actually the remix I have on the CD but I can’t seem to find a streaming version of it.

Royce 5′9 Danger
More Royce, this song was apparently on the GTA 3 sound track, how sick is that. Maybe I should pick that up.

Silkk Da Shocker feat Mystikal – It ain’t my fault
This song is an absolute mess, rubbish.

Dr Dre – Bad Intentions
The Doc, from ‘The Wash’ sound track I liked the beat and the verses were alright. I really wonder if De-tox is ever going to come out though.

This was the end of the track list, can’t say this list of songs is overly flattering to my musical tastes of the time, but it was six years ago, and a lot has changed since then but not my penmanship its still atrocious.

Wordless Wednesdays are pretty simple. I take the day off writing original content and just link or post crazy or interesting stuff I found on the internet during the week, and I set it to publish at lunchtime on Wednesdays. To help you get over the hump.

You may think you have a powerful erection, but how do you know? The Erectile Quality Monitor is here to help.

Being a black man in Eastern Europe is the craziest thing ever. Imagine walking down the street or in a club and gorgeous women starring at you like you’re a superstar.

A drink-driver who killed a father and son in a motorway crash was performing a sex act on himself minutes before the collision, a court heard.

Oooooh that motherfucker comin back

Stick to your glasses

TMNT-Oddle?

Idiot with a GSX-R

Figure out what the hells going on here

Wild 80s chick and bike, check out where I got it from

The Fallen

I went to the dentist today, the same dentist I have been going to my whole life, the checkups are basically the same but I seem to be handling them differently.

Growing up I never really hated going to the dentist, especially compared to other kids I knew, I mean it wasn’t a big deal you go there sit in a fancy laz-e-boy and the dude in the white coat goes to town. Sure the fluoride never tasted like root beer and got all over the place but, it helped keep my teeth in my face so I saw it as a positive trade off. I also always came home with ‘great patient’ stickers (although now that I think about it I never saw little brat stickers so maybe every kid got the good ones) and despite my Skittle addiction I did not get my first cavity until 2 days before my 18th birthday.

Fast forward a few years and a few thousand dollars worth of money and countless hours invested in my grill (8 teeth removed, front cap and orthodontic work) I have made it a point to protect my investment as best I can by continuing to get my checkups every 6-8.

However now for some reason the checkups are pure torture.

The scraping at my teeth near my gum’s isn’t even this issue, the whining noise and all that jazz isn’t a problem for me. The problem is I just can’t keep my mouth open long enough or wide enough for the whole appointment without my jaw feeling like its going to explode.

I consider  myself to have a decent tolerance for pain, I mean I got a tattoo, ride BMX, and got hit by a friggen car and brushed that shit off, but throw me in a chair with my mouth open for 30 minutes and I am thanking god its over and wiping sweat of  my brow.

Today I finally decided to ask my dentist if this issue was normal and of course he said no, I can’t remember the last time I had a normal issue, bummer.

Apparently, this is a symptom teeth clenching which is something I have caught myself doing more and more as I get older so by my calculations I won’t be able to open my mouth by age 35.

Good thing I am already a quiet guy right?

Here’s some Seinfeld for making it all the way down here

720 bars to fakie, who else even does 720s to fakie? Or 720 bars for that matter other than Ryan Nyquist. Garrett is on a whole different level of shit god damn.

Oddly enough, the crowd didn’t make that much noise. If this happened at notro the roof would have blown of the place.

Oh and if you have not seen it yet, Garrets video part in the Nike video is worth a watch.

I have been waiting to go in on this browser all day since Matt sent it over. I strongly disagree with things like this, I see it as entirely unnecessary segregation by African American people towards themselves.

This isn’t the first time I have struggled to understand why an African American(/Canadian?) specific service is needed.

According to Blackbird the why is “Because we know the 20 million African Americans online need tools to build and foster community now more than ever”.

Ok cool, 20 million people need to connect online, I get that.  So why can’t we build on the same technologies as everyone else?

For example why couldn’t the Blackbird team create social networking widgets for facebook, and search plug ins and down loadable bookmarks for FireFox. If African Americans are truly “twice as likely to pick up on advance technology compared to the general population“  (why they are referencing an almost 5 year old statistic I am not sure) then not only should we be able to create these services easily, but we would also be fast to adapt and use them.

I think as a race African Americans need to stop trying to separate themselves from other communities by creating redundant services. Black Channels, Black  browsers, Black Schools where does it stop?

Lets leverage existing technologies and communication channels and proudly promote our culture to not just to ourselves but to everyone else.  Why do I see Asian programming on Omni 1 but to get African American programming I have to switch to BET?

We have worked so hard to break down walls of segregation in some areas, lets stop working to create new ones?

[Isn't it interesting when people argue that African American is the correct terminology but in cases like these 'black' is ok]