Random As Rhyme

This is going to be the first of many, many, remote control devices I wanted over the years. These things were like crack to me, electric wheeled crack. I wanted as many as I could get, and as soon as I got one I got a custom to it and then bored and wanted a newer faster better one. My suppliers tended to be Tyco, Radioshack, and New Bright as they put out the most gimmicky eye catching toy quality RC cars at the time, and my dealers were my parents.

One of the cars I remember wanting really bad was the XRC Ricochet (Tyco had a similar one called the Rebound).

The car was a 2 sided remote control car with big tires that allowed it to run upside down, right side up, on its side, basically as long as a wheel touched the ground this car would orient itself in a way where it could move. What the video doesn’t clearly illustrate however, was that for a toy it was fast as hell.

I remember one day running my mouth of at Jr high saying I had a car that could beat anyone’s and my friend Erran challenged me to a race. So we both ran home and charged our cars and four or so hours when our ‘quick’ chargers finished (whoever thought making kids wait 4 hours for 20 minutes play time is sadistic) the race was on.

I got crushed, ruined, destroyed, humiliated, and emasculated all at once. It was a sad day for my playground ego.

I quickly deemed whatever piece of junk I had at the time inadequate and used up whatever occasion I had coming up (birthday, Christmas, chore completion, passing marks whatever) to acquire one.

As was often the case my parents screwed up and bought me the wrong thing normally I would be devastated however, just this once what they did buy me happened to be better than what I actually wanted.

Instead of getting me the car they got me the bike version I didn’t even know existed. I scoured the Internet wide and far for a photo of this marvel but all I could find was the damn instruction manual.

The bike, like the car, had big tires went fast and could bash off anything and keep going. The big wheels made it stable enough to go on and off road, which was something most remote control motorcycles of the time could not do.

This thing was so much fun that not only did I hold onto it for years, but I also distinctly recall playing with it as recent as 5 years ago before giving it to a neighborhood child who lived near me at my last dwelling.

That kid no doubt soon broke it as after years of punishment at my hands it was starting to show some cracks. The thought of kind of that kind of sucks but I probably started his electric crack habit and the thought of that is kind of awesome.

I know this isn’t a Tuesday or a Thursday but what’s the saying? A day late and a dollar short… or something. Anyway I have been sick with a stomach flu since new years eve so I spent a great deal of time horizontal, actually, I just ate my first meal of 2009 a few hours ago. But while lying around I did get a chance to think of today’s thing I always wanted. The Lamborghini Countach.

This car was the postercar (literally) for anyone male (and some females) born anywhere around 74 to 84. I still have die cast models and posters of this car up in my room at my dads place, and had a few remote control cars of it over the years as well.

This car was regularly featured in movies, tv shows, and promotions until they mid 90s. Even Barbie had one (what did Ken drive though?).

The car had quite a few distinctive features which made it timeless and desirable, low cheese wedge design, insanely wide rear tires, 345s (your average car has 195s), a v-12 motor and the iconic scissor doors.

Funny enough, while I have sat in 2 replicas (one I helped build) I don’t think I have ever been within spitting distance of a real one.

But working on the replica made a few practicality issues about this car very clear.

The first, rear visibility is pretty much non existent due to the kick ass wedge shaped design, try finding the rear window in the image below and you will get a good idea of what I mean.

Backing out one of these bad boys meant opening the door and sitting on the door sill while working the pedals on the inside. Pretty unorthodox, but you gotta go what you gotta do, can’t always drive forward.

The second issue is that as you look while driving a Countach it is extremely difficult to look cool getting into or out of a Countach. Due to the low height of the car and the door design you basically fall into, and roll out of them. If you happen to be over weight.. well…

But impracticality issues aside the car was still named number 3 on the list of Top Sports Cars of the 1970s and number ten on the list of Top Sports Cars of the 1980s by Sports car International, and is still something I always wanted.

Here are some pop culture Countach’s to finish this post out.

Cannonball Run

Miami Vice (note trying to get in while looking cool)

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker from the Transformers

Judge Dredd Future concept

I have decided on another feature I am going to do in addition to ‘Wordless Wednesdays‘. On days that start with a ‘T’ I will write about things I always wanted as a child/teenage.I will write these on either Tuesday Thursday, or both, depending on mood. Anyone who’s childhood spanned the late 80s early 90s should find these a pleasant trip down memory lane.

Without further adieu here is this weeks Thing I always Wanted

The Talk Boy:

For those of you that might have forget, the TalkBoy was featured in Home Alone: 2, and while the first 2 Home Alone movies featured a gang or awesome tricks for young boys to try this is the one that was the most marketable.

This product was basically a glorified boring tape recorder used by goofy professors and what not. What Tiger did though was paint it silver, add an extend able mic, and the ability to play at half speed, full speed, or reverse.

This doesn’t really sound all that exciting really, but combine Hollywood Movie Magic, a clever marketing scheme, and the fact that kids are stupid and you have a sought after item.

Apparently the gimmick was that if you slow down a pre pubescent voice it sounded like that of a full grown adult to everyone around (provided everyone around was incredibly stupid). Awesome, now you can prank your sister and her bf like in the commercial.

Or like Kevin in the movie, steal your dads credit card and commit identity theft, and get a swank New York hotel room much to the displeasure of the snooty concierge.

Obviously now this all sound completely moronic but at nine years old this would have been my ticket to all sorts of mischief. Unfortunately my parents saw right through the marketing gimmick and straight to the potential jail time I could incur using stolen credit cards to order lots and lots of Ninja Turtles merchandise.

So this goes as the first of many things I always wanted.

Here are some videos of clever use of this device.