Random As Rhyme

So I got let go from my job today.

This has never happened to me before but seems to be happening to a lot of people in this job market. It’s kind of an interesting experience and writing has always been somewhat of a coping mechanism of mine so I figured I would blog it.

I am not going to name names or anything because that is unprofessional but I will outline how it all went down best I can remember.

9:00 Get to work as usual, open my outlook, msn etc, start preparing for my “mid year performance meeting” and going over somethings to discuss that I don’t feel were going so well the past 6 months and how we can work to improve them. At this point I am still employed.

9:30 Manager comes and gets me and we go into meeting room, I notice we are not going to our normal meeting room which didn’t strike me as odd at the time. Walk into the meeting room and I see the HR representative and the writings on the wall. This writing says “HA HA YOU’RE FUCKED”.

9:32 My manger informs me that I am being let go due to skill set incompatability, which is kind of an ego blow, I wish he said due to B.O. or something tangible as for what I was originally hired for I am very good.

9:35 My manager wishes me luck and says that he can be a reference if I so need it and leaves. I am curious about what sort of reference he would give if he sees me as under qualified but that sorta washes out with the other stuff running through my head.

The HR guy tells me some stuff about my severance package and what not. He also says that I don’t  have to sign it right away and that they have a taxi  chit for me since they don’t want me going home “in this state”.

“This state” stands out, what kind of state am I in? Did my hair suddenly change color? How does he know what kind of state I am in? I wonder what kind of state HE is in since he has to do this fairly often now.

9:40 A grievance/transition counselor guy comes in, and the HR guy leaves. This guy seems nice enough and offers me some services to help me get a new job. I will probably take him up on his offer since what else do I have to do now?  We exchange info.

I never got up to shake his hand or anything but he never really offered either. I was actually relived as I didn’t much feel like shaking hands. So far today I have shaken zero hands.

9:45 Return to my desk and pack up my stuff, mainly headphones, ipod, Ride BMX mags, some toys, have to go back for a few more things, forgot my phone charger (no I didn’t) so I will have to go back sooner rather than later. I have to return my signed severence package also so I will do it all at the same time.

9:50 Everyone is telling me how shocked they are, not to many people knew I guess which is nice because it helps me not feel like the but end of some big joke.

I don’t really know what to say and I am having a hard time talking. I have also become aware  of the fact that I am sweating pretty bad and thankful I am wearing a dark shirt so no one can notice. The old spice deodorant seems to be holding out pretty decent so it was worth the $2.49

I wander around the office a little bit looking for some of the other co workers to say goodbye too but they are in meetings so I peace out.

10:00 I call my gf, and mom but not my Dad as I don’t want to hear the time to go back to school speech right now.

My Mom says “Oh shit”. She doesn’t swear to often so that’s kind of amusing. I have brief conversations with them about new beginnings and what not while I sorta walk aimlessly down the street half heart-ed-ly hailing cabs as I go.

10:15 I am off the phone now and some dude asks me how my day is going, surprising even myself, I answer him with  “Been better you?”. He replies saying He is good thanks for asking and I notice he is carrying a hat with a brain sticking out of it. Is he some sort of a zombie?

Turns out it’s Jerry The Brain Guy, and yes, he is kind of a zombie since he died twice due to a head injury and now has a company based around that and writes books. He also invented some kind of thing that helps you learn better. It’s all  pretty crazy and he has a bunch of youtube videos if you want to check it out.

He asks me what I want to do and I tell him that, ideally, I would have a successful action sports store and it would be awesome.

He tells me a bit more about his lifes story and says that the only thing standing in the way of my dreams really is myself and that if I need anything to contact him. Thats kind of neat, normally I don’t talk to people on the street and this guy had an interesting story and didn’t charge me any money to hear it.

10:20 I finally get a cab ask the dude if he is ok with going to Mississauga, he says yes and get in. Once in he see’s my taxi chit and tells me to go to the guy in front of him. For the first time since I got ‘let go’ I am angry. Fuck dude if you didn’t want me as a fare you should have said no!

10:21 Get in the other cab, this one smells so I crack the window and I am on the way home.

10:45 I Realize my cars at the Go station and I told him home so I  give the cab driver the worst directions to get there. I am in a haze at this point so it’s a bit hard to navigate someone who doesn’t know the area I really just want to tell him he is a cab driver get a damn GPS.

However my old companies picking up the bill though so I am not stressing over  the cost.

10:50 I am filling out the taxi chit, seriously don’t want to be doing this and I’m annoyed going on angry now. I hate taxis and I just want to go home.

I have actually been writing this blog most of the ride home in my head and  filling out the time and date of the pick up is screwing up my thought process.

10:55 I yell to the cabby yo ho smell ya later.

11:00 Hop in my whip (well mine as long as I can keep paying for it) and drive home.

11:30 Start writing this blog and thinking about what to do with the rest of the day. BMX seems approrpriate given the weather and my new abundance of time but I feel sorta shaky like I couldn’t actually ride right now I am pretty tired and somewhat shaky, I sort of feel similar to after a hard work out at the gym or something.

I actually hate popped collars. But I love me some MC Hammer, so I am a bit conflicted.

I am probably late on this but I still find it really funny. Anyone who as watched a single episode of CSI Miami will also find it funny. I present to you the Horatio Cane Chronicles.

It’s been a busy few days, so I have not had much time to blog, have a few partials started though so expect them over the long weekend.

Cheers.

Ever since I can remember I have never been fairly impatient. I hate waiting and always have. This probably explains why I was born 6 weeks early. My mom says as a baby she never had to wait for me to wake up to get the day started, she would come into my room and I would be wide awake and as I got older trying to get out.

My impatience also extends to waiting on my body to heal, I don’t like to take it easy and I don’t like to be victim to any sort of illness. This is pretty funny since I was a sick kid, but being a sick kid was not a bad thing since I was a Sick Kid – a child patient of sick kids hospital.

When I jumped the gun in coming out of the womb it meant I wasn’t quite done yet so I was placed in an easy bake oven (incubator) until it went ding. I was such an unattractive baby that to this day I have not seen any pictures of me prior to my actual due date (Dec 16th).

Soon after I was born I came down with a serious case of pneumonia, serious enough that my pediatrictian told my parents were told not to travel to Jamaica with me. However my parents figuring they could deal with whatever happened decided to go anyway. The story goes once I got to Jamaica I made an immediate recovery and became a huge ball of energy. Even at a young age their was no way I was letting a little cold keep me from having fun in the sun.

My health was pretty stable until around the age of four until my parents and day care workers noticed I developed a limp. When my parents tried to ask me what was wrong apparently I couldn’t really explain it. While everyone was pretty worried being four I was unconerned. So they just watched to see if the limp got worse, which it did. It turned out I was developing an urinary tract infection due to a UPJ (Ureteropelvic junction) obstruction and I needed surgery, fairly important surgery, since one of the complications of a UPJ obstruction is losing a kidney.

So I went under the knife, and a lot of my friends have seen the scar.

On my way to the operating room seeing the games room at Sick Kids and wanting to go in there. I had to stay in the hospital for about 9 days under observation and for seven of those days I made my way down to the games room IV pole, catheter, stent and all to play ExciteBike.

The IV meant that my hand was heavily bandaged so I wedged the controller between my leg and the arm of the chair. I played hours of Excite Bike and this not only sparked my love for video games but also my love for bikes on dirt tracks.

Soon after release I was diagnosed with fairly severe asthma. Most kids with asthma are forced to take it easy lucky for me though my parents purchased a breathing machine I could use at home to cut back on the amount of time they spent in hospital cots. While I still logged quite a few hours on this machine in front of the TV and still had to carry a puffer (yes I was that kid) it was way better than the alternative.

As I got older, thankfully, I got healthier, and aside from incident where I urinated blood (complication of my operation), I have been health issue free.

I am however left with an everlasting love for Excite Bike

Since my last traffic experiment failed I decided to get a twitter account. I will add the widget to my blog later tonight but until then expect anything not quite worthy of Wordless Wed but still funny to end up on there and whatever else I feel like.

It won’t tell you what I am doing cause homey don’t play that.

RandomAsRhyme on twitter.

It’s Friday! No matter how bad your week might as went at least you are not this guy.

I don’t want to imagine how much falling on a rack of wine bottles would hurt.

Growing up my dad had one of those nifty boxes that got pay per view for free. This lead to the two of us watching a lot of wrestling in the late 80s and early 90s. Back then the story lines were a lot easier to follow and it was good fun. I have no idea what’s going on in wrestling now but I woke up this morning with a slight interest in tracking down some of the more popular ones from the golden years. I left out some obvious one just because most people know what happened to them.

Jake the Snake

Apparently Jake the Snake wrestled for a long time, about three decades, at various levels of profession wrestling.
However after lots of injuries (neck and back) most notably after the Honkey Tonk man smashed him with a real guitar he became addicted to pain killers, and alcohol. At one point he got so bad that he would take off his pants to show fans why he was really called the snake. It sounds like he has bouts with sobriety and relapse to this day but is trying to work out his issues.

Jake.. not at his best.

The Macho Man Randy Savage

The Macho Man, who’s real name is Randall, actually has had a pretty decent run after wrestling. He appeared in Spiderman, Slim Jim commercials, and Bolt’s growl in the new Disney movie. He has also been seen around 50 cent and had a rap album based around his fued with Hulk Hogan. Unfortunately his then wife Samantha didn’t fair so well as she died of an overdose.

Be a Man Hulk!

Mr. Perfect

I always kind of hated Mr Perfect. I thought he was a pretentious, pompus, ass. Really that’s exactly what his character was and he did a great job of portraying that. He continued wrestling after the WWF WWE and then suddenly died of an overdose in 2006.

Summerslam entrance in 1991 before fighting Bret Hart.

Bret The Hitman Hart

After the Montreal screw job, WCW, and appearing at local Pizza Pizza’s here in Ontario, Brett suffered a minor stroke in 2002 and was paralyzed for awhile. He has now fully recovered and wrote a book called “Hitman: My Real Life In The Cartoon World of Wrestling” he is not addicted to anything and seems to be living happily. He really really hates Shawn Michales. ” Asked if he had seen or spoken to Michaels since 1997, Hart said, “No. And I hope I never do…for his sake.”

Montreal Screw Job and the aftermath.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan

Hacksaw surprisingly still wrestles. Even after getting kidney cancer, but apparently if you beat cancer hard enough with a 2×4 it goes away. HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The British Bulldog

Davey Boy Smith, aka The British Bulldog had the coolest beaded braids in professional wrestling. Wiki tells me he started competitive wrestling at 15, and continued doing so until the year 2000. Like many other wrestlers he developed an addiction to pain killers and eventually died of a heart attack which may have been caused by the use or steroids throughout his career.

The Ultimate Warrior

Out of all the wrestlers I have talked about today the Warrior was definaltey my favoirte. His entrances were always amazing, he would run out full speed slide into the ring and shake the living hell out of the ropes all to hard 80s guitars.Who would have though that this energetic bag of muscle would one day settle down to be a republican and motivational speaker? Well that’s exactly what happened, after getting fired from the WWE three times he decided to quit wrestling and be a talking head. Bummer.

Warrior vs Rick Rude cage match intro

This list could go on forever, but while researching for this post I learned that a staggering amount of wrestlers die before 65. It’s all documented here and actually quite a shock. No matter what anyone says wrestlers are real athletes and face real injuries. Next time you think about talking down on wrestlers remember that there is a real person behind the persona and more often than not they are suffering for your entertainment.

I am starting to wonder how many times I have spelled Wednesday wrong in the past.  I should go check that out.

This cop is pretty brave…

Nascar Drift

I have to try this one day

Anyone translate?

Best finger bike ever? (It’s actually a custom 1/3 scale)

How to paint your bike properly – Ride bmx

I gotta gooooo

Taking it all in

Aha!

I don’t really play halo but this is cool only 315 bucks – Ebay

Inflatable Trans Am art installation – Boing Boing

Kitten Found Stuffed Inside a bong

16 Restaurant Industry Secrets 2009

This is probably the closest to an NSFW post I will ever do. There is no nudity inside, but lots of ridiculous cleavage. So if your work isn’t down save this one for later or at least view it when your boss is not around.

As some of you might know from my house keeping post, I installed Google anayltics so I can monitor the traffic to this blog. It helps me focus on what I want to write a little better by watching which posts get the most hits. Last I checked I noticed one of my posts has almost 300 views.

The post in question was my second of the Wordless Wednesday series, December 17th 2008 to be exact. Now a quick skim through that post and you should be able to see why my hits spiked on this day. But in case it is not that clear I took a screen shot of one of my analytics graphs to help illustrate my point.

Looking at the figures on the graph it’s pretty easy to tell that the big draw to that post was, well, BOOBS!

The Brazilian made triple K mammories of 28 year old wife, and mother Shelya Hershey. Miss Hershey has had 18 plastic surgeries to get where she is, this video below shows her at FFF, and an American plastic surgeon telling her not to go any bigger. She ignored this though and got them done in Brazil instead.

Sheyla seems to be taking off on the world wide web as she has quickly become the fourth most searched term to bring people to my blog right behind “my president Obama inauguration remix”.

So here we are at my little sociological experiment, I post 2 pictures of Sheyla add her, and the word boobs, in the tags and watch the hits climb! I will update the comments every week or so with the statistics.

If this goes how I think it might I may have to throw up a picture of these funny looking boobs in every post.

Lets hope not. Ok here we go (click through to her site sheylahershey.net if your game: