Random As Rhyme

It’s been a while since I have written about a car trend, or a particular car, I did not like but while on my trip to whistler I noticed a few cars rolling around on reasonable sized rims which got me thinking that those cars look 1000 times better than a Donk Box or Bubble ever could or ever will. Sure Donks have been around for at least two years now, but I didn’t have this virtual soap box to blast off from the first time I saw them.

A Donk by definition is an American sedan (Caddillacs, Malibus, Chevelles, etc) with large aftermarket wheels, elaborate paint and sound systems, and modified suspension. Normally these (and some motor mods) are the ingredients for a decent enough looking whip however with Donks the cook has no idea what he is doing and cooks up something worthy of thisiswhyyourfat.

In an attempt to portray the drivers swagger the front end of a Donk is raised higher than the rear (ie head held high) and since excess = respect/riches/big dick the wheels are often comically large. The end result is something that leaves something that is grossly mis-proportioned and painful to the eyes.

See what I mean?

Looking at the car above the only thing that screams back at me louder than the power steering pump screaming at trying to turn those monster wheels, is impracticality.

I am not sure how one gets in and out of a donk while still maintaining any sort of ’swagger’ and I can’t imagine those big wheels aid in the motors ability to get this car going, or the brakes ability to get it stopped. Meaning once this slow slab gets a rollin look out because its more likely to place it’s front bumper through your rear window than it is to stop on a dime.

However the saddest part about that Donk is that it is on the tamer side of the Donk spectrum. For reasons unbeknown to me and probably to the bane of many a successful food brand Donk owners like to proudly display their love for certain types of foods or brands on their cars.

I like skittles and I think they are deserving of free promotion but you could never catch me doing this:

I have never had (or perhaps seen) a bottle of Yoo-hoo

and have sworn off McDonalds.

Call me old fashioned, or just old, but I really do not understand the appeal of these vehicles over doing them up in a more tasteful fashion.

When Donks designed strictly for show started to pop up things got downright messy.

of course not to be out done clear rims were soon popped off as well…

For now I have yet to see a Donk in person, which is a good thing since I really hope this trend just fades into the wind like 70s vans. One can only hope right?