Random As Rhyme

I admire people who can speak more than one language. I can’t. My grade 9 french  teacher passed me with a 52% under the agreement I would never take french again. I went to  Montreal not to long ago and was seriously useless. I spoke even less than I do normally.

However it got me thinking. I have very little recollection of learning the English language but I have no doubt in my mind it was super frustrating. The English language is stupid.

From what I remember learning to spell was done phonetically, sounding things out. Sounding out phonetically should be Fo-en-net-ically in that case.

But that’s not because whoever wrote the rules to the English language (Merriam Webster?) decided it would be nice to mess around with people heads. Here are some weird rules that word bully came boggle my mind

- F = PH: seriously why? F takes less effort to  write or type for the same sound
- Two letters  back  to  back: same reason as above,  two letters same sound why? When I say let and letters I don’t pronounce or enunciate the second t, lest I sound like Ross Gellar
- Silent letters: Again, why? Why do these exist? So everyone can laugh at slow Timmy when he says K-nife? That’s just mean. And if we are going to have silent letters why can they just pop up anywhere, take the word dumb if the b is silent why isn’t it at the beginning like knife? bdum… oh right cause THAT wouldn’t make sense
Boxing Ring, Hamburger, Parkway, Driveway: Boxing rings are curiously square, Hamburgers contain no ham, you drive on a parkway, and park on a drive way (never mind wtf a lane way is)
-Too To and Two There Their And They’re: Another way to mess with poor slow Jimmy.

Crazy I tell you. Crazy.

Anyone who speaks another language can you please let me know if any other languages have similar nonsensical rules? If so I am going to learn to speak tongues.

Oh wait I can’t because I have Ankyloglossia