Random As Rhyme

This weeks object of perpetual desire is more a class of device than something brand specific. It was the child size vehicle. Sure bicycles were cool, and much faster, but everyone had one. Not everyone had a child size vehicle.

The hierarchy of child sized vehicle went like so:

Home made deathtrap, know known as a Box Cart
Pedal car
Power Wheels
Go Cart (not bloody likely and will be omitted for this blog)

I made a few skateboard or wagon based Box carts as a youngster and every time they were used someone got hurt. Picking rocks out of your knees sucked but none of us had anything better at the time so we kept making them.

That was until some kid’s (I think his name was Corey) dad bought him this:

Corey was instantly pedaling driving around in the damn holy grail. Every kid on the block, including myself, was super jealous at this point. However when anyone asked to try the pedal car, Corey responded with he child equivalent of fuck off and get your own.

I forget exactly what he said in response but the long and short of it was unless you killed him, pried his cold dead fingers from the wheel, and drove this thing off some sweet jumps before getting hauled off to jail you were not getting a turn.

As karma goes, Corey swiftly got his popularity jacked when Brandon from round the way rolled up with his girlfriend on one of these bad boys:

You see, Brandon had his cooties shot, room for a passenger, and didn’t need to pedal. This meant he got all the women little girls and the pedal car General seemed silly in comparison. I mean, scroll back up and look at the wing on the back of it the real general didn’t have that, stupid in accurate human powered pedal car.

No matter how slow and loud power wheels were as they were rumbling down the sidewalk I wanted one. Actually I would have taken the Barbie Countach and called it “salmon” and rocked that.

Sadly though I never got one and once I got my license I never really thought about it again. I figured, sure, I missed out on a little bit but all and all I didn’t miss that much.

Until….

Wait a minute here… you can modify power wheels?

Nobody told me!

Now I defiantly feel like I missed out. I am sure if I had one my dad would have modified it for me.

Actually he most defiantly would not have.

But a guy can dream right?

Anyone reading this, if you have a kid and they have power wheels I would like to borrow them for an afternoon. I promise the power wheels will return in better shape then when you gave it to me.

The child is your problem.