Random As Rhyme

It has been awhile since I have written about  something I always wanted,  one could say I was going through a drought of neediness. However after being reminded how selfish and greedy I am I thought of a new thing I always wanted and surprise, surprise, it is once again Transformers related.  But hear me out since this one does not exist yet.

As soon as I watched the first Transformers episode I have always wanted to experience being a giant robot that could change into a car and engage in  epic battles with enemy forces while creating millions of dollars worth of property damage and not be held accountable.

However not being a child of Cybertron that was never going to happen without some serious cash and scientific time invested.

Once running around in the backyard making ‘pew-pew’ noises and using my imagination got boring I did what every kid of my generation does when they can’t think of ways to amuse themselves anymore, turn to video games.  I knew what I wanted, a good Generation 1 Transformers video game that would allow me to live out my fantasizes without looking like a odd child.

Problem is that Transformers games seem to have a great track record of being less than satisfactory.

The first, Japan release only, NES version below is somewhat excusable as a lot of NES games were of questionable quality.

One of the biggest issues with this one was the fact that you could only play as Ultra Magnus, who a lot of people don’t even know existed (you have to have seen the original movie) and those of us who did know of his existence simply knew him as the guy who screwed up until Hot Rod took the Matrix and rocked out to You’ve got the touch.

In 1998 Hasbro Interactive put out a follow up effort with the Beast Wars franchise for the PC and PlayStation. This game was also not very good the graphics, controls,and general game play was all sub par. I never really got into it and went back to playing War craft 2 in no time.

There was also a Transformers, Trans Metals which was a fighting game and is not really worth mentioning in my opinion beyond the fact that yest it did exist.

As they years went by I eventually gave up expecting a good, North American*, Generation 1 video game.

I beat the movie game and got the skins that allowed you to play as recolors of original characters and decided that would have to do.

That was until I saw game trailers for some other franchises I really enjoy:

Upcoming Ghostubsters game trailer

Wolverine Origins game footage

Upcoming Batman Arkham Asylum Game footage

With amazing looking Batman, Ghostbusters, and Wolverine games about to drop its about time a game developer stepped up to the plate and made a GREAT Generation 1 Transformers game.

If for no reason other than the fact that its something I always wanted!

*Yes I know about this game and if you are reading this from Japan and have a copy you want to send it to me feel free!

I like art and I like Transformers, the internet is a wealth of great Transformers artwork and I felt I should compile a list of some of my favorites.

10. Original Optimus Prime Box Art

If I didn’t include the original box art image of Optimus Prime I would have had to turn in my membership card to Transformers anonymous. This shot is a classic, even though it doesn’t really bare a strong resemblence to the cartoon Prime we all grew up loving.

9. Marvel shotgunned prime

I actually drew a version of this Prime for an art project in junior high school,  the completed art and the comic have long since vanished but my love for it has not.

Am I the only one who finds the tag line a bit strange?
“Not your fathers Autobot”.
How many Transformers fans have kids who are old enough to understand whats going on when this comic came out (1993)?

8. Optimus Christ

This motivational poster is just a screen grab from an episode but the first time I saw it I immediately printed if off and stuck it to my cubicle wall since I thought it was so awesome, surprisingly no one has once said anything negative about it.

7. Optimus Prime BMX Number Plate

This is rad, my worlds have officially collided. This  bmx number plate with Optimus on it can be purchased here.

6. Optimus Rhyme

This one is one of the most obvious play on words for Optimus Prime spun into an a really creative piece of artwork. There is an acute attention to detail at work here. Check the play and pause buttons on the hands and the four finger rings. This exceptional piece was done by reyyyyy on deviant art.

5. 80s in the palm of his hand

I Can’t remember where I picked this one up but I have had it on my computer for years. Love the use of He-man, Lion-o, and Snake-Eyes.

4. Optimus and Snake-Eyes

Another cross contaminated piece of art. Snake-Eyes and Optimus could really mess some cobra/decepticon forces up. This one is done by jpart on deviant art.

3. DW Poster Prime

I am a big fan of DW’s treatment of all of the Transformers comics. The detail on this picture is great and it looks like Prime is about to kick ass and take names. My girlfriend actually started a painting of this image, but never finished. Anyone who is up to the task of doing a painted version of this for me, feel free.

2. Deep Prime

This piece of prime deep in concentration is done by a Myton Abellera he has a bunch of other cool artwork here including a picture of Megatron and Batman that’s extremely well done.

BONUS: Optimus By EpsenG

Another deviant, EpsenG, did this piece which he described as follows “Wanted to make a pic of the great leader in the style of the old 80s Transformers paintings.”

1. Obama Prime

This Obama parody done by Tim Doyle was the inspiration for this list. The original Obama change poster is going to go down in history as an iconic piece of artwork, and this parody is extremely well done. It was sold in limited amounts over on Nakatomi. Until I get my hands on one of the prints I have a black and white version of this up in my cubicle as well.

Hope you enjoyed the list, even those of you who are not big Transformers fans, and remember to support your local artist they are probably starving.

This past weekend I moved in with my girlfriend, and to her disdain my Transformers collection came with me. I’ve been meaning to blog about my collection for awhile and since I had to unpack this was my best opportunity to do so.

About half way through taking the pictures Lyndsey took over, but I don’t think you will notice the transition.

This book is all that remains of my childhood Transformers collection. That makes it 20-22 years old. I plan to scan it and post it’s contents as a blog similar to what I did with BMX in Action 1987.

These are my newer comic books. The first book is a collection of the greatest battles between Optimus Prime. It’s a pretty decent collection of stories and a few are mentioned in the 10 most notable deaths of Optimus Prime over on Topless Robot.

The rest of the comics are newer DW versions, these ones all have pretty stellar artwork with the GI Joe cross over being the best of the bunch. The Transformers have never looked better in print before this series.

The last one at the bottom is a prequel to the movie that my friend Grant picked up on free comic book day.

These 20-22 year old UK exclusive comics ended up in my hands courtesy of my friend Maz who lives in Scotland. Over about the course of a year she would find comics (lord knows how or where) and mail them to me randomly. It was a pretty rad thing of her to do and I am glad to have them in my collection.

I have too many Transformers movies, or I should say too many different copies of the same movies. Of the 5 picured there is only 3 different feature length amounts of content, and the Ultimate Battle one sucks (too much Armada).

Worst yet is I still don’t have all of the bonus features of the new film I am missing the one that has the Transforming case.

This is the only thing in my collection that I made. It took a long time to finish but I am now the only person who has an Autobot symbol made of Perler beads that doesn’t suck.

This is my group of normal size Autobots and one Megatron. In order of appearance: Blue streak (G1* reproduction), Megatron (G2* Ultimate battle version), Sandstorm (Original 1986 triple changer), Jazz (G1 heroes mini bot), and Sideswipe (G1 Reproduction).

(G1 = Generation 1 [1984-1991] G2 = Generation 2[1992-?])

Alternate Modes:

Blue streak was a gift from Lyndsey, and actually re kick started my figure collection, Megatron, Jazz, and Sideswipe I bought (Sideswipe from Value Village hence the missing tires) and my friend Rachel gave me Sandstorm for Christmas one year.

Next is my collection of arguably everyone’s favorite, and most famous Transformer Optimus Prime. I have three so far, and I plan to get at least one more.

From left to right; Ultimate Battle Optimus Prime (Boxset with the Megatron above and the Ultimate Battle DVD), 20th (movie) Anniversary Optimus Prime, and Powermaster Optimus Prime (1988).

My brother gave me the 20th anniversary Prime but I bought the other two. The Powermaster version was actually purchased to replace the one I had stolen from me as a child (kid asked to borrow it then moved the next day) so I am really glad to have one back in my possession.

This shot is pretty cool since it shows the discrepancies between how Optimus Prime has been represented as a toy over the years, I guess it was up to toy manufactures discretion as to what artwork they used to base the toy molds on.

Powermaster Prime also folds out into a cool battle station, with Hi-q Transforming into a little robot to man the guns.

That’s the sum of my collection right now minus the Movie game for ps2, seven or so Transformer shirts and a beat up Powermaster Optimus (cab) that sits on my desk from work.

One day I hope to have a bit bigger of a collection (nothing in the million dollar range) and a nice display case to put them in. But until then they sit in a cubby in the entertainment unit as a reminder to my gf that shes dating a nerd.

As I look back into my past I am starting to realize that I was a pretty envious kid, I might have even had green skin, because this is another thing that one of my friends had that I wanted.

It should come as no surprise to anyone who reads this blog even half the time that I big Transformers fan. Most of my wants were firmly planted on the Autobot side though. Not really so much because they were the good guys but more so because they were cars, and I like cars quite a bit.

However a few Decepticons stuck out as being pretty bad ass. Soundwave was one, but Trypticon was most def another.

Trypticon was the Decepticons answer to an equally awesome (and want worthy toy) sentient city Metroplex.

I never had the privilege of seeing a Metroplex toy in person, so I convinced myself that they didn’t actually exist, however my older friend Chris had Trypticon (cant imagine how much that must have cost his parents) and it was pretty gosh darn amazing. It was basically a giant Grimlock, and as we know .

Trypticon took Grimlock’s badassarey and multiplied it by however much bigger he was. Two major things stuck out (other than having rockets where his tongue should be) the first being was that Tryp transformed from giant awesome T Rex into a giant awesome city play set.

Only a handful of Transformers shared this ability, but Trypticon was not content with having one awesome ability, oh no he was ready to shove his size 100000 foot of awesome up your ass and break it off by being able to walk.

He was actually the ONLY Transformer I ever saw as a kid that could walk as illustrated below:

A walking Trypticon was clumsy and loud, and looked really funny if he fell over but was defiantly an awe inspiring site to behold.

Oddly enough I seem to remember this as being the only Transformer Chris had, as he was a big Lego guy. This meant in my mind he didn’t deserve it and I plotted to remove it from his grasps.

However he was at least 3 years older than me so I never dared put my plots into action lest he send me down a flight of steps head first.

Too bad they probably fetch a large number on ebay as otherwise I would have one today. But I reserve my big ticket Transformer purchases to Autobots pretty exclusively.

The video below proves that Trypticon was also the mightiest of all walking Transformers, and that the guy below has lots of disposable income and is kind of my hero.

I want one.

I know this isn’t a Tuesday or a Thursday but what’s the saying? A day late and a dollar short… or something. Anyway I have been sick with a stomach flu since new years eve so I spent a great deal of time horizontal, actually, I just ate my first meal of 2009 a few hours ago. But while lying around I did get a chance to think of today’s thing I always wanted. The Lamborghini Countach.

This car was the postercar (literally) for anyone male (and some females) born anywhere around 74 to 84. I still have die cast models and posters of this car up in my room at my dads place, and had a few remote control cars of it over the years as well.

This car was regularly featured in movies, tv shows, and promotions until they mid 90s. Even Barbie had one (what did Ken drive though?).

The car had quite a few distinctive features which made it timeless and desirable, low cheese wedge design, insanely wide rear tires, 345s (your average car has 195s), a v-12 motor and the iconic scissor doors.

Funny enough, while I have sat in 2 replicas (one I helped build) I don’t think I have ever been within spitting distance of a real one.

But working on the replica made a few practicality issues about this car very clear.

The first, rear visibility is pretty much non existent due to the kick ass wedge shaped design, try finding the rear window in the image below and you will get a good idea of what I mean.

Backing out one of these bad boys meant opening the door and sitting on the door sill while working the pedals on the inside. Pretty unorthodox, but you gotta go what you gotta do, can’t always drive forward.

The second issue is that as you look while driving a Countach it is extremely difficult to look cool getting into or out of a Countach. Due to the low height of the car and the door design you basically fall into, and roll out of them. If you happen to be over weight.. well…

But impracticality issues aside the car was still named number 3 on the list of Top Sports Cars of the 1970s and number ten on the list of Top Sports Cars of the 1980s by Sports car International, and is still something I always wanted.

Here are some pop culture Countach’s to finish this post out.

Cannonball Run

Miami Vice (note trying to get in while looking cool)

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker from the Transformers

Judge Dredd Future concept